Jenga!

Over the past few days I have not been in the best of moods. Mostly, I just feel overwhelmed with life in general. I feel like I'm mean and no fun at all to be around. For that reason, I told myself that tonight would be different. After I cooked dinner and bathed Ella and Brennan, we all played a couple of rounds of Jenga. Can you see who lost? I feel a little better now...

Lolli-Lolli

It's fascinating the amount of bribery and coercion it takes to get the kids into the shower and then the same amount, if not more, to get them out. Once in they seem to be as entertained as if they were at The Magic Kingdom.

The kids got these great homemade lollipops from a birthday party today. They carried them into their shower. While I was gathering towels and washrags and such they were having a ball putting their candy under the shower. I tried to grab my camera and take some candid shots, but I was spied rather quickly. After that they were pretty much just putting on a show for me.

When they were sufficiently cleaned and able to be persuaded out of the tub, I dried Brennan off and put on his Superman underwear and t-shirt. While I was helping him (is it mine or do all male children act as if they can't dress themselves?) I told Ella to get on her underwear and pajamas. Brennan turned to me and said, "Don't you mean her pantywear?"

Sponge Bob Parenting Class

Do you think Sponge Bob offers parenting classes? Eating breakfast before church, my kids were mesmerized by his words. Wish I could get them to listen to me that closely.

(Yes, we do still have our Christmas tree up! It will come down tomorrow...hopefully.)

Love & Logic from a 4 Year Old

Some of you may or may not have heard of "Love & Logic". It's a parenting program so to speak. Very big in the field of education. What I've learned about it, I love, and I use it all the time. Love & Logic is big on giving kids choices (as well as other things). Again, I use the strategy of giving choices a lot.

I just love it when I hear them using Love & Logic themselves.

Tonight, Ella was putting a puzzle together. She always recruits me to help (even though she's better than I am at puzzles). She and Anna were bickering and being very mean to one another. I had had enough. I got up and said, "I only play with kids who can get along with each other." At that, Ella began her famous drama queen melt down. Oh the wailing! Brennan said, "Ella, I will help you." Ella continued her award winning performance. Brennan began his Love & Logic...

"Ella, you have two choices. You can put the puzzle away or you can calm down. Actually, you have four choices. You can go to bed, you can calm down, you can not do the puzzle or you can...well...those are your options."

She calmed down.

Anna's First Basketball Game

A couple of seasons ago I talked Anna into playing soccer. Her soccer season was quite successful, but Anna wasn't too thrilled with the game. Before the season was in full swing she asked, "Why didn't you tell me there was so much running?" Need I mention that Anna didn't want to return to soccer?

Now, Anna decided, on her own, that she wanted to try basketball this year. There's a local church that sponsors the Upward Basketball program. The name of Anna's team is the Lady Salukis. Here's a picture of Anna from the game and one of Ella and Brennan watching the game. For exhibiting Christlike behavior and attitude during the game, Anna received a white star to stitch to her jersey. Although she was nervous about her first game, Anna did a great job and seemed to have fun. I think she'll have even more fun in the games to come as her confidence grows and she becomes less Christlike...I mean...a little more aggressive.

I only took about 100 other pictures and most of them were too blurry to see what was going on. I've GOT to learn how to use my new camera! I know, I know...when all else fails, READ THE MANUAL!

Prayer Answered Through A Fortune Cookie

Last night the kids and I went out for Chinese food and surprisingly ended up having dinner with my Uncle Dan, my mom's brother. Dinner was very enjoyable and delicious. The kids weren't terribly impressed (and neither was I) with their fortunes which is always disappointing, right? This is what prompted my post this evening.

Many of you have already heard this story, so please endure it again.

Exactly one week to the day of Jon's funeral, Anna had her second grade music performance for school. My mom, the kids and I got ready and headed up to the school to see the program. Of course the program was very good. It was tough for me, but I managed to keep it together, even though all I could think about was the fact that her daddy should have and would have been there to see her sing her little heart out. Needless to say, it was heartbreaking. Still, I kept it together...until the last song..."Love Can Build A Bridge". I cried (and thankfully didn't smear mascara all over my face since I was still at the point of never wearing make up since I never knew when the grief monster was going to appear). After the program, I put on my best happy face and hugged Anna. Anna was very watchful of my emotions during this time and I did try my best to be brave and strong for her sake. Even so, after the emotional ride, I was unable to stop crying completely for the rest of the afternoon.

Fast forward to that evening. My mom was still pretty much staying with us 24/7. Ella and Brennan were watching T.V. downstairs and Anna was playing the XBOX upstairs. Me, I was on the couch with the events of Jon's passing going through my mind like a scary, sad, horrible bad dream. I couldn't shake it. The feelings that I had can only be referred to as gut-wrenching. Pain that you feel in the pit of your stomach and nothing makes it feel any better at all. I tried going upstairs and play with Anna, but all I could think about was how Jon used to play with her on this game system and how he never would again. I started to cry again and could not stop myself this time. No matter how hard I tried. My mom suggested I take a shower or a hot bath. I went into my room, shut and locked the door. I went into my bathroom, shut and locked the door. I went into Jon's closet and crumbled to the floor and sobbed. Words can not express my pain. In my sadness and feelings of despair I prayed. I prayed for Heavenly Father to take the awful pain away from me. I didn't ask, but I told him that I needed to feel Jon's love for me and I wanted Jon to feel my love for him. That was it. Somehow, feeling a little better, I managed to get through a shower and amazingly gained enough composure to head back into the living room where my mom and the kids were. My mom was sitting in the sunroom and I went to sit on the couch in there. Anna came over to me, sat on my lap and asked if she could have a chocolate covered fortune cookie. It was a couple of days after Valentine's Day, and these fortune cookies had been given to me by one of my students and brought over to the house by friends that I worked with. I told Anna to get the fortune cookies and I'd open one up for her. They came in one of those cute little containers that is used for Chinese take-out. Opening the container, I took the first one out, cracked it open and read the fortune. It read, "Your love will continue to call, no matter how distant the shore." Remember my prayer, less than 15 or 20 minutes before?

My prayer had been answered by a fortune cookie. I believe that. After crying, not the painful shedding of tears as just a few minutes before, but this time, the tears were because of the love I felt from Jon and from my Heavenly Father, who allowed me to feel that love.

Being the pessimist that I am, after a couple of days, I decided that I would go through the other fortunes in the container. Who knew, maybe they were all really great fortunes. Not a one came even close to the one we opened first.

That fortune cookie and its powerful message gave me indescribable strength that carried me on and continues bringing me comfort in knowing that Jon's love for us all is stronger than his death.

Momma's Got A Brand New Blog

My mom started a blog. Yes, she was kind of pushed into it by her offspring. Check it out!

http://veryvanhorn.blogspot.com/